True Man

What should it mean to be a True Man? By and large, our culture tells us that masculinity is toxic. Toxic masculinity is a popular term these days. It's a term used to describe harmful and social destructiveness like misogyny, homophobia, and violent domination. Most today describe masculinity as an attitude or set of social guidelines that are stereotypically associated with manliness. So, the term "toxic masculinity" then is meant to imply that the idea of masculinity or manliness is inherently flawed and bad. 

This thinking is having a real negative impact on almost everything, and it has led us to an identity crisis that harms our society. 

Our world needs men. A true man has the responsibility of a father, brother, husband, leader, coach, guide, and mentor, to name a few. So, can masculinity be separated from these things? 

1 Corinthians 16:13,14 ESV

Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong and love without stopping.

The phrase "act like men" is provocative in that it raises two questions that must be answered before you can understand the meaning of the verse.  They are: What is a man? How do they act?

I believe Paul assumes that the reader knows what a man is. They know a man is strong and sacrificial. A man is a male by God's design. Question 2 asks how men act, and it defines masculinity for us.  

When you look at the passage, you find the phrase, act like men, in the middle, flanked on each side by descriptors of what it means to act like men. So then, to act like men, in the context of the verse, means to stay alert and be watchful, to stand firm in the faith, and to be strong. The apostle Paul goes on to say, in verse 14, to undergird all three commands with love without stopping. 

This mandate to "act like men" certainly has far-reaching purposes as it looks back over the entire book. Still, in the immediate context, the apostle Paul is saying let love be the heart's impulse behind your alertness and watchfulness for the church, your families, and the people in your influence. Let love be the empowering force that strengthens you to stand firm in the faith for the Christ you love. True masculinity is not negligent in being alert, wishy-washy in doctrine, not timid against adversaries, and certainly not deficient in love.  

We see then that masculinity is more than how a man should act; it expresses a man's love. This call to love certainly is not unique to men.  Jesus calls both men and women alike to love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and strength and to love your neighbor as yourself.  The question of masculinity (and femininity) determines how that looks distinctive to gender.  For masculinity, the distinguishing feature is self-sacrificing leadership.

So then, masculinity is gladly assuming sacrificial responsibility.

When we couple our understanding of maleness with this description of masculinity, we can say;

True manhood is... responding to God's calling to assume sacrificial responsibility gladly. 

Three things to remember about this definition lead us to answer the second question: How do I embrace manhood?

1.  Manhood is a response

Our working definition states that "true manhood is a response..." This response derives from our God-given male identity. There is not a second option.  We either respond in humble obedience to God's design or in arrogant rebellion.  No one decides not to respond.  And since God has designed every male, God's design for men reveals much of God's will for men.  

2.  Manhood is glad

The gladness found in manhood is directly related to why manhood matters.  At times, manhood can be a significant burden and a heavy responsibility.  However, when the burden of that responsibility is coupled with faith in a sovereign God who has designed me to reflect His image and designed the responsibility to do the image shaping, I can embrace it, knowing that I will experience one gracious gift after another and His fullness of love as I gladly shoulder that responsibility.

3.  Manhood is responsibility

Manhood is responsibility.  More specifically, it is sacrificial responsibility; another way of saying manhood is about leadership. Eph. 5:22-33 is very clear in that just as Christ leads, protects, and provides for the church, men are to do the same for the women and children within our home and even society at large.  

The role of leadership in the home and the church has been given to men because God has given them distinct gifts. This call to lead - this charge to take responsibility - will be accompanied by sacrifice. Those who step out to blaze the trail and defend the cause will suffer loss, but it is only temporal loss.  

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." Jim Elliot

How do I embrace manhood? We can look to Jesus, the author, and perfecter of our faith, and first embrace Him as Lord and Savior. He is the man. He has already laid a path for us to follow. He has blazed the trail and perfected the work of manhood, and the power for us to follow Him is already given to us by the Holy Spirit. This is partly how Romans 6:4 will get worked out in our lives.

Romans 6:4 ESV

We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.

So, after embracing Christ, embrace God's call on your life as a man and respond. Passivity can’t be tolerated. It is either obedience or rebellion. You embrace life in Christ for yourself and those around you. Our path will be much like Jesus' in that a man will be called to lay down his life for others, particularly women and children. The leadership mantle in the home and the church is distinctly our's as men to carry. Not because women can't as though they are inferior to men or incapable of leadership. No, it is because the God of creation has ordained that men can and must lead and that women, with their often superior intellect, come alongside men, together fulfilling God's creation mandate to them both to rule His creation. Men must lead.

​How do you embrace manhood?

By responding to God's calling to assume sacrificial responsibility gladly.

We've already touched on this, but allow me to say this:  Manhood brings with it happy labor, but it is a labor defined by sacrificial responsibility. 

Men, we are to shoulder stress and do it gladly. We are built to shoulder stress differently than women. We take responsibility for the dirty work and heavy lifting. We protect our families while providing for them spiritual and physically. Our wives and children are front line responsibilities. This is sacrificial leadership. We sacrificially create scenarios for our families to be spiritually successful and healthy. We do this with a glad heart!

I believe we need to remember the important role that true masculinity plays in our society. It's not about toxic traits but about assuming sacrificial responsibility gladly. Manhood is about responding to God's calling and embracing responsibility with faith and gladness. This responsibility includes leadership in our homes and society, and it requires sacrifice. Ultimately, we can look to Jesus as the perfect example of true manhood. He blazed the trail for us to follow, showing us the power of sacrificial love and responsibility.

The text we have looked at emphasizes the importance of understanding true masculinity as assuming sacrificial responsibility gladly. It emphasizes the idea that manhood is a response to God's calling, which brings a sense of responsibility coupled with faith and gladness. The responsibility of leadership in homes and society is highlighted, along with the need for sacrifice. Ultimately, the text points to Jesus as the perfect example of true manhood, demonstrating the power of sacrificial love and responsibility.